Wednesday, 13 February 2013

Quit Masturbation from a Recovered Serious Porn Addict and Med Student


Cognitive Approach
Most solutions from google, eHow, yahoo answers and Forum's are based on this.  In other words, using your "Fore-brain."  Things like "don't think about it, pick up hobbies, exercise, etc." This is considered a weak method in the Medical/Psychiatric Community for real addicts, and never worked for me by itself.

Classical Conditioning:
+ reinforcement = applied stimulus (noxious or pleasant)
- reinforcement = removing negative stimulus
Is stronger and better for people with serious addiction. Combining it with the Cog Approach has best results.  
Read on please.


Step 1: Rearrange your life: Get out of unhealthy relationships (neg. reinforcement), including sexual ones. Sex is OK if in a healthy relationship. Surround yourself with someone who "doesn't masturbate" and is motivated to help you, religious or otherwise. Tell them about your goal. Have a solid, strong reason(s) for quitting - make a list if you must. Imagine the life you want to live.

Step 2: Deal with personal issues/health: Bipolar, depression, insomnia, OCD, phobias, etc. --> begin treatment. These can make you hyper-sexual or in need of comfort. Masturbation is self-medication just like alcohol and drugs. See a therapist for personal struggles or build friendships.

The most important: Step 3: Fear: Triggers & Memories need to be reconditioned reciprocally. Deliver a painful shock immediately every instant, every time you imagine porn and/or have an urge. Or, more realistically, close your eyes and relive your strongest fear-provoking or painful memory in fine detail (positive reinforcement). Explore making it worse, like bees crawling in your ears and stinging you all over, or a rattlesnake on your bed/floor, or needles, for instance. This is the MAIN STEP. Don't stop doing this for 3-5 days EVERY SINGLE TIME you have ANY sexual thought, without fail. If you can imagine it to the point you get a shiver and a rush - this is optimal. Keep doing it!  See the end of the blog why this works.

Step 4: Environment:  Change your environment to include this fear. Desktop backgrounds of bees, for instance. Be able to pull this image up in your mind instantly as soon as "tempted."  Rip sounds off youtube into mp3. Wear clothes/pajamas to bed. Never touch except to wash. Your "urge" will begin diminishing within 3-5 days. Your willpower will manage it better now. Continue these exercises frequently or occasionally to keep things in check as needed.

Step 5: Replace Triggers: Change media habits - movies/shows/songs with any imagery reminiscent. Below is a list of healthy movies. Avoid lustful situations, reduce alcohol consumption, and change how you act in those situations. Avoid turning your head. See women as people and talk to them eye-to-eye, don't look down. Build a healthy relationship not centered solely on sex. When you undress to shower and a mirror is there, accept your body and its sexual power, but don't dwell on it. Move on. Imagine the blue guy in The Watchman with an always limp dick and pretend you are him. Use the "How to fall asleep quicker" steps at the end of this blog. Don't think or count when you last masturbated, focus on your new life and how you want it. Don't read other how to quit materials - it will just remind you of masturbating and itself is a trigger! Throw away any imagery you have, delete all sexual-related materials from your computer.

"We are addicted to our thoughts. We cannot change anything if we cannot change our thinking."

Step 5(b): A new you/positive reinforcement: You will have more free time. NOW you can start gradually replace this with new things. This was hard for me as a semi-loner but I keep a cleaner/more organized apartment, exercise, work on my relationships with others, and spend more time studying (I'm in medical school so not much leisure time for me), and lots of little things you didn't think you had time to do before.

Further Methods/Fine-Tuning & Tips:

Once you have yourself under better control, you can work on positive reinforcement and replace old habits. You have been living in a world where one thing mattered to you than most other things, and the world will seem grey and boring at first. Consider a hobby related to your fear. For me, it would be bee-keeping. With time, you will learn to find the joy in what remains, be more successful, explore things you didn't, and be ready for a satisfying relationship. In fact, your sex life is better - you last longer, and she will be happier with your self-control and respect of her. She will be more willing to reciprocate her attentions and be more satisfying to you: quality not quantity.

How to Fall Asleep Quickly: Retrain yourself to fall asleep within 10 minutes.

1.  Remove Television and computers from your bedroom.
2.  Only lie down when tired.  If you don't fall asleep within 10 minutes, get up and do something else.
3.  Melatonin 3mg chewable fast-acting (30 min) can help or add a small 5mg dose of cheap Zolpidem
4.  Only use your bed for sleep (and sex when/if you are in a relationship)
5.  Keep mints or candy next to your bed. Sometimes eating a snack or a small piece helps. When your mouth produces more saliva it brings on serotonin, bringing on a sense of well-being and comfort. You can choose sugar-free so you don't worry about dental problems.
6. Warm milk and/or Camamille Tea help, but shouldn't be necessary.

Please add comments of good movies that are clean to this blog and I will add them, this is a work in progress.  Some of these older ones can be found on Youtube such as Silas Marner.

Silas Marner
The Last Brickmaker - Sidney Portier
The Simple Life of Noah Dearborn - Sidney Portier
The Legend of Bagger Vance - Will Smith Matt Damon - one minor scene

Why This Works Medically:  

The Amygdala is a primitive, VERY powerful part of your brain that handles fear. It can override many processes in your brain and body instantly, especially when faced with a threat. It activates the sympathetic nervous system (libido is linked to the opposite parasympathetic system: you don't feel like reproducing when being attacked). It also stores memories of the slightest fear-provoking situations. For example, brain scans show it active even looking at a picture of a villain or frowning man!

The Parietal Lobe stores images/movies: all the risque movies, porn, and sexy women you know or have seen in your life. People typically run 1 maybe 2 images at a time without the need for concentration, particularly men who have that "one-tracked mind." By using fearful imagery, you are blocking out the images AND inhibiting the sex drive simultaneously.

Congratulations, you have employed a self-induced/modified Aversion Therapy and Systematic Desensitization, as well as a host of other Behavioral modification mechanisms.  This shot-gun approach should cover all the bases is my hope.  Please comment any further ideas that have worked for you - I want your feedback!  Aversion therapy is used by medical practitioners for all types of addictions & psychological phenomenon. In Paraphiles, they will actually use physical harm/pain such as electrical shock upon seeing a paraphillic image, in addition to mental excercises of social consequences such as "getting caught." But you WANT to quit, right? So provide your own negative consequence mentally and repeatedly - it will break your bad habits on a conscious and subconscious level.

PLEASE +1 THIS POST AND HELP PROMOTE IT.  IT WORKS AND I WANT TO HELP PEOPLE. I would love to hear your success stories and anything you would add to this post!

Your life will be better with self-mastery.
“An intelligent person can rationalize anything, a wise person doesn't try.” 

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